


Untitled

by gavorn



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-21
Updated: 2013-05-21
Packaged: 2017-12-12 12:58:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/811835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gavorn/pseuds/gavorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little Egotron thing. Crossposted from my livejournal sillyshipfics.livejournal.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled

\---  
Jon hurries along the crowded street, breath fogging in the wintery air as he tries to get home before the snow falls.  
He lives in New York now, since that day years ago when he couldn't take his life anymore and took some of his things and caught the first plane out of there.

It started years before, the odd little arrangement he had with Arin.  
Because Jon had been thinking, and he was looking at Arin and realizing how beautiful he was [not in an insulting way, more as the highest of compliments] and his brain started putting images of Arin in his brain while he was tossing and turning late at night and before he knew it he was kissing Arin.

Jon would've thought that was the end of their story, but Arin didn't ever do what Jon expected he would.  
Because Arin's mouth was just as soft as Jon thought it would be and he had never really known kissing could be this good and Arin was kissing him back and that was the biggest surprise of all.

Jon broke away from the kiss, expecting to be rejected in the most harsh of ways.  
Arin never did what Jon expected, though. He looked right at Jon in the way that made Jon feel like there were holes burning through from the intensity of Arin's gaze- and he laughed, a odd, low little sound, and said, "Why didn't you do that sooner?" And that was when Jon knew that it would be alright from then on, because Arin liked him, at least partly, because why else would he be looking at him that way and kissing him like that?  
\---  
They continued that way for months, years maybe- [Jon couldn't remember, it was all a happy blur at this point.]  
They would meet at each other's apartments, talk about games, their lives, acting like everything was exactly the same as before until they began tearing their clothes off and kissing frantically.  
Jon suspected Suzy knew, after he was at their apartment for dinner and she saw the way he looked at Arin [he didn't want to look at him that way but he couldn't help himself when Arin was making that face]  
After that she was more reserved, staying out of the apartment altogether when he was over.  
\--  
"You ready?"  
Arin was looking at him, and Jon knew that as the best man he was the one supposed to be asking Arin that but somehow he felt like he wasn't actually there, it was one of those horrible dreams he had where he woke up and just wished Arin was there to hold him and tell him it would be alright.  
Jon glanced in the mirror of the room they had provided for the groom to get ready in.  
Arin was watching him with that look, and Jon couldn't tell if he was happy or angry or sad or anything else.  
There was a pause, and even though normally when they were together the silence was better than the conversation, this one held heavy, like what happened would change their future one way or the other.  
Jon knew what he wanted to do [wanted to do so bad it hurt]  
and he knew what he had to do [he didn't want it at all, that's why it took him so long to make the words crawl up his throat without throwing up]  
"...Yeah, I'm ready." [his voice cracked, but he figured if he didn't say anything about it Arin wouldn't either]  
\--  
They would stop when the baby was born, he promised himself. They would stop once the baby was born because Arin would be a father, he would have a family and Jon couldn't get in the way of that.  
They didn't stop, naturally.

Jon had decided it at around two in the morning between the ~~tears~~ sweat [you can sweat in november, why not?]. He would go, he would meet the baby and he would tell Arin he couldn't do it anymore, couldn't lie to himself and the baby and Suzy and Arin any longer or he was pretty sure his heart was going to stop working.  
He didn't.  
He was going to, really, but then after he told them how cute the baby was and how perfect her name was Arin was leaning over and murmuring about going over to Jon's apartment and he forgot the plan because Arin's tongue was in his mouth.  
\--  
The kids were older now.  
Six and four, and how he wondered if they knew, if it was so obvious that how he looked at their daddy wasn't how most friends looked at each other.  
He reassured himself they couldn't tell, and Suzy didn't know, and even if she did she wasn't upset or she would've said something.  
But he still felt like this wasn't how it was supposed to be.  
Sometimes Jon wished he and Arin could just go to a movie or hold hands or sleep in the same bed, rather then having all their time together filled with moaning and screams.  
Jon thought that if Arin wanted that, he would've said something, so he never brought it up.  
\----

The breaking point was when the older daughter was about seven.  
Because Jon realized that his life now was those nights where Arin came over [they couldn't be at Arin's new house anymore, what with the kids always being around] and they fucked and then Arin went back to his life, with his wife and children and career [he got a job, a real one, they ended the show when Suzy was pregnant for the first time] and his adult, parent friends, and then there was Jon- they weren't really friends anymore, Jon realized when he thought about it. All they ever did was have sex. They had stopped talking about other things.  
Jon almost wished he had a life outside of those nights.  
So one day he packed some of his things [he didn't want to pay to fly them all, so he slipped a key to his apartment under Arin's door along with a note that said simply that he wasn't coming back and everything left there was his]  
He went to the airport and bought a coach ticket for the first flight to NYC he could get [he figured it was a good sort of place to go and not be found]. Then he took the few possessions he bothered to take and left. [He changed his phone number and email address too. He didn't want Arin persuading him to come back.]  
\---  
As Jon stood in the chilly air fumbling for his key he distantly wondered if things would've changed if he tried, if he had done something at the wedding or when the baby came or any time at all, really.  
The key wasn't fitting in the lock.  
For a moment the thought crossed his mind that that was a fitting metaphor for him and Arin.  
Get your head out of your ass, Jafari, he thought as he yanked the door open.  
After all, maybe you can change the future, but you sure as hell can't change the past.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I just want to say something about the writing style in this.  
> I know almost all of the sentences are run-on. That is intentional. Honestly, I'm not crazy about this one, but if you like it, let me know, because praise makes me so happy you would not believe. :)


End file.
